A lot on my mind

[Wrangl3r93]

Ok before anybody reads this i'm gonna warn them that this topic is very controversial and i'm not looking to start a debate over this just get some stuff off my mind so i can finally get some sleep after about a week. I will post none of my beliefs as they are not important(again tryin to avoid this turning sour).

I recently found out that one of my best friends is pregnant. She is only 16, a cheerleader, beautiful, and very strong willed girl. About a month ago she grew very distant and i hadn't really talked to her much without her snapping my head off until the other night when she needed someone to cover her shift for her so she could head to the doctor. I got it covered for her and went to leave and wanted to tell her bye before i left and overheard her talkin to another one of my friends on the phone and this is how i found out why she has been avoiding me. I brought it up and got her talkin and everything is ok between us again, but she informed me that she was going to have an abortion(this is where i don't want anybody's hackles to rise). I talked to her long and hard about it and told her that it's ultimately her decision and i stand behind her no matter what. The father is an a$$(if he ever pokes his head out again i'm gonna kill him) and her ex bf had been takin care of her and now we are sharing the load. I've been pulling so many hours at work taking her shifts. She went and got the shot yesterday and today started the rest of the procedure. She's scared and this isn't what she wants but i believe she sees no other way. I've only talked to her once since it all started and just the sound of pain in her voice brought me to tears right in front of everybody at work. I haven't been able to get in touch with her since and i'm starting to freak. I'm just asking that you can suspend your beliefs and help me pray that she will be ok. This is starting to get to be too much to post so i'm gonna cut it there and try to lay down. Just i don't want this to turn into an argument that has already been beat to death where there is no black or white so i'm gonna ask yet again to please not post beliefs and just wish this girl some luck cause things haven't been going her way lately. Thanks Guys.
,Matt

 

[mingez]

Ok before anybody reads this i'm gonna warn them that this topic is very controversial and i'm not looking to start a debate over this just get some stuff off my mind so i can finally get some sleep after about a week. I will post none of my beliefs as they are not important(again tryin to avoid this turning sour).

I recently found out that one of my best friends is pregnant. She is only 16, a cheerleader, beautiful, and very strong willed girl. About a month ago she grew very distant and i hadn't really talked to her much without her snapping my head off until the other night when she needed someone to cover her shift for her so she could head to the doctor. I got it covered for her and went to leave and wanted to tell her bye before i left and overheard her talkin to another one of my friends on the phone and this is how i found out why she has been avoiding me. I brought it up and got her talkin and everything is ok between us again, but she informed me that she was going to have an abortion(this is where i don't want anybody's hackles to rise). I talked to her long and hard about it and told her that it's ultimately her decision and i stand behind her no matter what. The father is an a$$(if he ever pokes his head out again i'm gonna kill him) and her ex bf had been takin care of her and now we are sharing the load. I've been pulling so many hours at work taking her shifts. She went and got the shot yesterday and today started the rest of the procedure. She's scared and this isn't what she wants but i believe she sees no other way. I've only talked to her once since it all started and just the sound of pain in her voice brought me to tears right in front of everybody at work. I haven't been able to get in touch with her since and i'm starting to freak. I'm just asking that you can suspend your beliefs and help me pray that she will be ok. This is starting to get to be too much to post so i'm gonna cut it there and try to lay down. Just i don't want this to turn into an argument that has already been beat to death where there is no black or white so i'm gonna ask yet again to please not post beliefs and just wish this girl some luck cause things haven't been going her way lately. Thanks Guys.
,Matt

I'll be wishing her luck. I hope she's able to be honest with herself and her beliefs to make the right decision. She's lucky to have such a supportive friend such as yourself.

 

[Sparky-Watts]

No matter what side of the fence you're on, you're a good friend. The world needs more people like you, those that will do what it takes to help out another in need.

A few weeks ago in Wichita, a 14 y/o girl who was 9 months pregnant disappeared from a local skating rink. Her body was found a week later, half buried at the edge of a field along an abandoned road. Her "boyfriend", the 22 y/o father of the child, has been charged with capital murder, along with two others for conspiring to kill her because he was going to be facing rape charges and indecent liberty charges. She was white, he and the two others were black....not that that has anything to do with it. She was very pretty, a good student, and had many, many friends in her 8th grade class. Maybe if she'd had a friend like you she could confide in, she'd still be alive.....maybe....

Hang in there, and tell your friend there are lots of people praying for her. Right or wrong, she needs prayers and she's getting them.

 

[90Xjay]

.... I'm just asking that you can suspend your beliefs and help me pray that she will be ok....

The likely outcome is that she will not be ok after this. This will be a big burden for her to bear by herself. You need to be there for her to listen to and I would strongly suggest getting her into some professional counseling. It sounds like the you are committed to being there and thats good.

 

[Wrangl3r93]

The likely outcome is that she will not be ok after this. This will be a big burden for her to bear by herself. You need to be there for her to listen to and I would strongly suggest getting her into some professional counseling. It sounds like the you are committed to being there and thats good.

I know it's gonna mess with her head. It's messing with mine. But between me, another one of her best freinds, and her ex bf we are determined to get her through this. We've been doing everything in our power up to this point to cheer her up and we will continue to do so as long as needed. I just want to thank ya'll for the prayers and the last time i talked to her last night not too long after my post she was doing better but it wasn't over yet. She actually told me that like 15 minutes before i called (about when i posted this asking for prayers) she started to feel better. I guess we'll see how things go and she has a long road to walk but at least i can lend her my shoes. Thanks guys

 

[jeepchick953]

Such a decision for someone so young. Just be there for her.
My prayers go out to her and I hope you realize what a great friend you are.

 

[OutOfStep]

wish this girl some luck cause things haven't been going her way lately.

will do

 

[currupt4130]

It may be the best thing for her, she seems like she may have a hell of a life ahead of her (as far as school and a career) and learning a lesson like this early on in life may keep her focused on whats important and out of trouble.

No matter, your a great guy for helping her through this time. Stay with her, do whatever you can, and don't ever sacrifice her trust. On here is one thing, don't spill to anyone that doesnt need to know.

 

[TwistedCU]

How tragic. I will gladly pray for her and I am sure my wife will as well. Please let us know when you hear from her.

 

[Wrangl3r93]

Nobody i know gets on this forum and if they do i put no names. Nobody at work except a select few even know about it and the rest all think she is sick with the flu. I haven't told anybody(not even my gf) about her or what is going on but i did sit down and have a serious talk with my girl about our relationship. I talked to the girl earlier and we're pretty sure the physical part/danger is over and now we just have to make it through the mental. This is where i'm focusing my attention to. Not letting her slip into a depression. I got my aunt to let me borrow her '68 cutlass supreme convertible and i'm gonna take the girl out on a "date" to go see a movie and eat and just hang out. I think she's really looking forward to it and i know i am.
I know this sure has been a wake-up call to those of us who know what is going on and i hate that it is happening and we now know that stuff like that doesn't happen to other people it can happen to us too. If you know anybody that is going through a sexual phase please sit down and talk with them. I'll be more than glad to talk with them and try to open their eyes. Thanks again guys for being behind me and her and not turning this into a flaming us thread like i hoped it wouldn't.

 

[Sparky-Watts]

Nobody i know gets on this forum and if they do i put no names. Nobody at work except a select few even know about it and the rest all think she is sick with the flu. I haven't told anybody(not even my gf) about her or what is going on but i did sit down and have a serious talk with my girl about our relationship. I talked to the girl earlier and we're pretty sure the physical part/danger is over and now we just have to make it through the mental. This is where i'm focusing my attention to. Not letting her slip into a depression. I got my aunt to let me borrow her '68 cutlass supreme convertible and i'm gonna take the girl out on a "date" to go see a movie and eat and just hang out. I think she's really looking forward to it and i know i am.
I know this sure has been a wake-up call to those of us who know what is going on and i hate that it is happening and we now know that stuff like that doesn't happen to other people it can happen to us too. If you know anybody that is going through a sexual phase please sit down and talk with them. I'll be more than glad to talk with them and try to open their eyes. Thanks again guys for being behind me and her and not turning this into a flaming us thread like i hoped it wouldn't.

Ok....so, you've got a g/f and you're taking this other girl out on a "date"? But your g/f doesn't know about the situation the other girl is going through, right? Does she at least know you are taking her to see a movie and have dinner? I don't have a problem with that, in fact, I think it's great of you to do it, I just don't want you and your g/f to get in a fight about it....you seem like a super guy, and I'd guess you must have a super g/f, too, right? I hope.

As for someone else going through a sexual phase.....I am right now. It's called, "I ain't gettin' any, and I don't miss it 'cause I can't remember what it's like when I was.":lol:

Sorry.....just couldn't resist!!

 

[joedirt]

Dude I know exactly what your going through I've been there but I was the bf.It was just acouple month relationship,new job,new city and then this it was hard.So she had the abortion everthing went well but it was the hardest thing I've ever been though,and it was for her too.

I have alittle girl now with my wife,and it seems to pop up every once an while,the what ifs.

The point is your a good man for doing what your are doing for your friend regardless of your views.Talk to her try and help her get her head clear,and one thing I have noticed on this site is that eveybody will give you support regardless of there views there all good people here.If you want to spill your guts to somebody don't think twice about pm'ing me.

I'm sorry I can't type for crap

 

[Wrangl3r93]

Well my gf is ok with me hanging out with her. I've been dating her for 11 months now and we trust eachother enough to know that i/she can go hang out with other people and still be faithful. The girl whom this thread refers to was hired a week after i was and it was both our first jobs so we kinda stuck together and became good friends and now we are the best workers there. We see eachother alot because on days when they want us to be understaffed they want the best people there in case we get slammed. So even if my gf wasn't 100% ok with it i'd still see this girl all the time anyways.

I'm sorry to hear that joe. I know how hard it is from just being a friend and i can't imagine how hard it would be to be the bf. I just hope you hung in there and supported her unlike how this guy left my friend to fend for herself. Every day's a struggle but it's gettin easier. Can't wait tillthis is allover, well as over as it can ever get.