ANOTHER Life change (don't they ever stop???)

mud4feet

mud4feet

New member
OK, fellow Jeepzers..............long post....sorry.......

Various circumstances have led me to this place.....looking for some opinions.
As most of you know, I moved here to the mountains to marry my soulmate (mudwoman) and took a job with the NCDOT (at less than half of what I was making at the time). I have absolutely no regrets, but have re-discovered that government work is not for me.....unrewarding, boring, political, your tax dollars being wasted (believe me).......and mudwoman is having serious job issues.......she is a therapist in long-term care - excellent at what she does but really, really fed up with the corporate-profit oriented beaurocracy. We've wanted, ever since Katrina, to go down and help out (God bless you, Sparky and Sunshine). Well, that's rather tough when you both work a few states away. Well, opportunity has shown it's face. I have 2 offers to work in the area......One, an hourly position (I haven't been "hourly" for over 20 years), BIG money but lots of physical labor (I'm 53, hopin' the body can still do it), lots of hours ($$$$$), which I don't really like, and I'll be working with my son (BIG +). The other offer (interview Wed. in Pensacola) is a salaried position with a company I've never worked for building a HUGE bridge in Baton Rouge. Big status :)roll: ), steady income (salary), 150 miles from son, but don't know how much "relief help" we could be. Basically looking for opinions.....I know the decision is ultimately mine. Love the mountains and don't want to leave, but we have some financial issues that are driving us crazy. Mudwoman is down with whatever I decide (bless her ever-lovin' heart - what a GREAT decision that was....marrying HER!!!!), but we're really racked as far as doing the "right" thing. Opinions are VERY welcome.

pondering mud
 

I stand by Mudman, whatever he decides- mudman's soul was born in the Smokies and I so admire him for even considering leaving. However, he has the skills they need down there to rebuild their bridges and his added income would leave me free to work less hours and so I could help out wherever needed. We look at out at the mountains every morning and thank God that we will still be able to keep our place here. Still, this is the longest I have ever lived anywhere in my whole life, and it's hard to leave. We both value the inciteful input we see on this board- any ideas or thoughts are welcome and needed- prayers wouldn't hurt either! We have already started listening to Zydeco music- we'll be taking the fiddle, guitar, upright bass, hammer dulcimer, and banjo with us, even if means we have to sleep on the blow up bed!!
 
Y'all have my prayers, sounds like a big move. Kinda making some big changes in the education/career department of my life also, possibly dropping the idea of being a bush pilot. It just isn't what God wants me to do right now. Good luck on the move and hope things work out for you.
 
Well, my friends, I know ultimately you'll do what God leads you to do, so I have no worries over your final decision. Both positions sound good for you, Mud, as far as doing what you know or being close to your son. Not knowing what the job is working with your son, I can only comment on the other one: You may be jumping out of the skillet into the fire going to build bridges for the government again, especially in that atmosphere. I fear the deadlines and commitments may cause the political crap to be worse there. Now, you may be going down to work for a private contractor, but they will still be under the wing of the government, so keep that in mind.

After reading your posts, PM's, and emails, I can tell you were born of the Smokies, and they are part of you, so I know how hard this decision must be. However, I also know that you have a good heart (both of you) and the relief work is suited to your souls. I've done tens of thousands of hours of volunteer work since high school, and I can tell you that nothing has ever been more rewarding than that. I admire you for even considering such a big move to do some relief work, whether paid or not.

As I mentioned, ultimately, you will go where you believe God is leading you, so the best I can do is to pray for His will to be done, and for you to recognize what that will is. Peace my friend, trust your heart.
 

Follow your heart mud. It sounds like you have some exciting opportunities.
I would say, if you can be closer to your son... well... when I moved away from home over 20 years ago, I have lived 1500 miles away from my parents and it has been tough only seeing them once a year or so. If my dad lived just a few hours away that would be awesome.

Pray about it.
 
For some reason, the wording is not clicking here... Would you be able to keep your place that you have now, or are we talking totally moving away?

If you could keep your house, even to not see it for another 5 years or so, I would totally go for it, if for nothing else, should the chips get down, to constantly remember that eventually you will be home again... If, and this is a big if, you are up to said work, mad crazy cash does NOT justify mad crazy hours, pressure, and misery, and judging from your explanation regarding how you came to be at your current job, you already know that.

Should that NOT be the case, hmm... It really ends up being a personal decision as to what you want, and think well long and hard about it too... Money is not everything, and helping others, however noble it may be is not a good thing if you are sacrificing your happiness. Voice of experience here on THAT one. If you'll miss your home, and you know you will every day you are away from it, moving may not be the best choice for you... If, on the other hand, you will feel constantly guilty (for lack of a better word, and that's not the best one, do forgive) that you could be doing more as you sit at the kitchen table with the morning coffee, staying is not the right thing for you... As overtly cold as it may sound, and it's not meant to, put you first, because it is your decision, whichever way it turns out...

Best of luck, hope you can leech some wisdom from me, and looking forward to the next time you make it to Michigan. :)
 
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Thanx to all for your responses. Jaymz77, yeah, I'm thinking God's pulling me/us down there. 'Preciate the well-wishes.

Sparky,
Sparky-Watts said:
You may be jumping out of the skillet into the fire going to build bridges for the government again,..............
Click to expand...

Not exactly how it is. I was building roads and bridges for 20 years before I came up here. It's government money, but it is in no way anywhere NEAR like working for the government. Probably why I have such a bad attitude toward ANY government......the waste and insanity is mind boggling. I'd be brain-dead if I ever retired from a government job. But, at the time, it filled the bill. Working for large contractors is fast-paced, profit-oriented (it IS a business), and can be very stressful if you let it (I did, for a while). But I've now had a breather, and am ready to go at it again (I love building bridges).

90Xjay,
90Xjay said:
Follow your heart mud. It sounds like you have some exciting opportunities.
I would say, if you can be closer to your son... well... when I moved away from home over 20 years ago, I have lived 1500 miles away from my parents and it has been tough only seeing them once a year or so. If my dad lived just a few hours away that would be awesome.

Pray about it.
Click to expand...

It is exciting, but scary, too. Being closer to my son means a great deal to me - he's young and we've already been through some very rough times getting him this far. But he's turned the corner, and I'd like to be there to help him along (he'd probably be in my crew!!!). And since I left the house (finally), I've always lived at least 300-700 miles away from my folks, so I feel your pain. Between the two of us, my mom's the only one left and she knows me very, very well. She doesn't have a problem with it (being FARTHER away), but it IS very hard..........it was nice living here in Carolina and only being 7 hours away.

And heavy, heavy prayers have been going out daily.

Saurian,

Yes, we're keeping the house.........don't think I could do it pulling up ALL stakes. Well, I should say I won't do it UNLESS we can keep the house. I think it's the Cancer in me, but always gotta have some security just in case things all go to crap. It is not a mad and crazy dash.............I'm going insane with the DOT.....mudwoman is totally fed up with the corporate BS where she works (she's a fantastic therapist and has a true gift for treating people........but tired of being the boss - that's what you get for being good!!!) and we're both feeling some sort of spiritual draw to the area.....can't explain it - won't even try. And, yes, that was the purpose of this post was to leech any wisdom I could from anybody I could.........bunch of good folks on here.

Anyway, thanx to all, keep your opinions coming. Flatiron, Inc. is flying me to Pensacola tomorrow morning for an interview (Audubon Bridge, Baton Rouge, LA), so I should have a little more "guidance-info" tomorrow.

still pondering,
mud
 

Mud, I know you were talking about private contracting on the bridge building, but if it's hurricane damage repair, it's still government money coming in....anyway, that's all beside the point. I know you'll make the decision that's right for you and Mrs. Mud. You're a sharp cookie and I know you'll weigh all the options carefully, so I don't worry about you making a wrong choice. There have been times when I would have loved to pull up stakes and make a big move for another job, but I'm too big of a chicken. I live 2 blocks from my mom, 2 blocks from one of my brothers, and 5 blocks from my only remaining grandparent. I wasn't born here, but was raised here, and I'm too scared to get out that far from my "comfort zone". If I had to, or had the guts, I'd move to Colorado in the Rockies.

Good luck with whatever you decide!
 
Well Mud, as you know, I was fed up with my job recently which made me reconsider EVERYTHING in my life.

I took from my latest life lesson the phrase: "Never follow the money". More specifically to your situation, don't let money be the deciding factor.

If you can live comfortably with either salary, then let the circumstances be the decider.
1. Proximity to friends and family.
2. Area you are living in.
3. Type of work being done. What impact or mark is being made.

For me, all 3 of the above were the reasons I left my career in retail. I was making a lot of money, but at the end of the day didn't feel I was making an impact. My only reward was monetary, and the penalty I paid was an unrewarding job and the inability to share life with any of the people I love.

IMO, it seems like option #1 has more perks, and the most important perk, family. More $, more family to share it with, and more opportunity to help the community.

Option 2 has only 2 "Pro's": Salaried Job, and fun work.

Is the type of work you do more important than being nearer to your son? 150 miles isn't THAT bad of a drive. But you can't just meet up for lunch on a whim. That convenience seems small when you have it, but huge when you don't.

Personally, I'd go with option 1, and use the time it affords you to find something else if you end up not being able to handle the physical aspect of the job.
 
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mingez said:
Well Mud, as you know, I was fed up with my job recently which made me reconsider EVERYTHING in my life.

I took from my latest life lesson the phrase: "Never follow the money". More specifically to your situation, don't let money be the deciding factor.

If you can live comfortably with either salary, then let the circumstances be the decider.
1. Proximity to friends and family.
2. Area you are living in.
3. Type of work being done. What impact or mark is being made.

For me, all 3 of the above were the reasons I left my career in retail. I was making a lot of money, but at the end of the day didn't feel I was making an impact. My only reward was monetary, and the penalty I paid was an unrewarding job and the inability to share life with any of the people I love.

IMO, it seems like option #1 has more perks, and the most important perk, family. More $, more family to share it with, and more opportunity to help the community.

Option 2 has only 2 "Pro's": Salaried Job, and fun work.

Is the type of work you do more important than being nearer to your son? 150 miles isn't THAT bad of a drive. But you can't just meet up for lunch on a whim. That convenience seems small when you have it, but huge when you don't.

Personally, I'd go with option 1, and use the time it affords you to find something else if you end up not being able to handle the physical aspect of the job.
Click to expand...

Mingez, thanx much for your thoughtful post........reflects many of the things I've been mulling over in my mind. Trust me, I know the pitfalls of "chasing the money" - made that mistake once in my life and don't want to make it again. Actually, the only perks for option #1 are money and being closer to my son. It's an hourly position which means the money depends on my old-arse ability to work bookoo hours (and thus be away from family) and there is no health insurance. Option #2 puts us only a couple hours away from my son, which beats the heck out of what we've got now (11 hrs. + or -). Plus we are not THAT far away from the storm damage, so I'm hoping we can make our small dent in the recovery effort. I actually verbally accepted Option #2 today........doubled my present salary, company paid health insurance for me and my dependents, 3 wks. vacation, company truck, 6% company 401K contribution (whether I contribute or not!!!), and one monster bridge to build. Hoping I made the right decision.........I know my son will be a bit disappointed, but he's doing great on his own and I might actually be a hinderance to his continued development. I'll still be close enough to kick his arse quickly should he get out of line!:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Mud, although 150 miles is closer than you are now, it's still a long haul from your son.

I would think that although the bridge job might be physically challenging, it being close to your son and even being able to work with him sounds like an opportunity of a lifetime.

Take the leap of faith (just not off that bridge ;) ) and get closer to your family. That's #1, right? The job, the money... they're all great but worth very little compared to the value of having family close.

I'll be praying for you guys to have clarity while seeking his will for you. Keep us posted.
 

Well, mud, I think #2 is the right decision. Not only are you close enough to your son to "kick his arse" when he gets out of line, but you are also taking care of you and Mudwoman with the insurance. 150 miles ain't nothing compared to 11 hours or so. It's less than an afternoon's drive. Sunshine wants to rent your place in the Smokies while you're gone, ok?
 
I agree with Sparky, take option #2. You still will be close enough to your son to visit, but far enough away for both of you to have peace. I don't know the relationship you have with your son, but a little distance helps at times. Plus, you're making more money so you can look at setting up some college funds for the grandchildren or soon to be GrandC. You will have to follow your heart and pocket book and determine which one means more. Just remember this, many people buy a X-mas puppy and forget they have to take care of it for years to come. Emotion X Reality = the right decision. First and foremost, you and Mudwoman must be happy with whatever you decide. If you two are not happy, then it was a lost cause. Take Care and Good Luck. KJ
 
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