The OFFICIAL Random thread
- Thread starter mingez
- Start date
_(OIIIIO)_Jeeper
New member
...I hand one of those once, till the wheels fell off......
HiHood
New member
Since I've retired I've pretty much taken over the cooking from the wife and today I baked a ham with pineapples etc. If anyone else out there is an amatuer cook too, don't ever put cloves on a pineapple ham . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .IT IS F**KING NASTY!!!!
SteelHeadz
Super Moderator
LMAO!! I'll take your word for it.:lol::lol::lol:
Weylyn
New member
The REAL Night Before Christmas
(By Parents)
Twas the night before Christmas
when all through the house
I searched for the tools
to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied
and we were inspired,
in hopes we could manage
"Some Assembly Required."
The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
while Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
a kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's townhouse to boot!
And now, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!
We opened the boxes,
my heart skipped a beat—
let no parts be missing
or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
if we can't get it right, it goes straight to the basement!
When what to my worrying eyes should appear
but 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
so if we failed, only we could be blamed.
More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
all over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
that all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
to keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
with "assembly required" till morning's first light.
We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
till our eyes, they went blurry; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
and not run to the store for one single thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
for the perfect, most magical, Christmas, I bet!"
Then off to dreamland and sweet repose
I gratefully went, though I suppose
there's something to say for those self-deluded—
I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!
(By Parents)
Twas the night before Christmas
when all through the house
I searched for the tools
to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied
and we were inspired,
in hopes we could manage
"Some Assembly Required."
The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
while Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
a kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's townhouse to boot!
And now, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!
We opened the boxes,
my heart skipped a beat—
let no parts be missing
or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
if we can't get it right, it goes straight to the basement!
When what to my worrying eyes should appear
but 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
so if we failed, only we could be blamed.
More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
all over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
that all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
to keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
with "assembly required" till morning's first light.
We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
till our eyes, they went blurry; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
and not run to the store for one single thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
for the perfect, most magical, Christmas, I bet!"
Then off to dreamland and sweet repose
I gratefully went, though I suppose
there's something to say for those self-deluded—
I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!
gardengirl38
New member
Cloves are gross. They just look pretty. One day I hope that someone takes over the cooking for me I detest that job and as soon as my kids are out of the house I am going to do it as little as possible. I guess that may be grounds for divorce I dont know nor do I care! Cooking sucks.
My youngest brother is a Chef. I do not know how he can stand to do it! Jeez!!! mental I say.
On another note. I had a weird dream last night. I have no idea what it could "mean" but I was trying to find a place to sleep, I was stranded somewhere out of the ordinary. I had a blanket but that was it. The only place I could find was on the floor next to a cash register and counter??????
My youngest brother is a Chef. I do not know how he can stand to do it! Jeez!!! mental I say.
On another note. I had a weird dream last night. I have no idea what it could "mean" but I was trying to find a place to sleep, I was stranded somewhere out of the ordinary. I had a blanket but that was it. The only place I could find was on the floor next to a cash register and counter??????
HiHood
New member
Old Stupid, (dog) sure thought that ham was good!! He had NO complaints as he gulped it down and licked his lips. Stupid's a very good critic, quite a moral booster.
it usually ain't like that, both of us have gained wait since I took over cooking. But my GAWD that was NASTY!!
it usually ain't like that, both of us have gained wait since I took over cooking. But my GAWD that was NASTY!!
nowajeepman
New member
dont feel alone i dont have a shop,really could use one
