The OFFICIAL Random thread

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company packed everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!


I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

:lol: :lol: :lol:
 
Blonde DOG NAMES

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HelOOOooo," answered the blond. "They’re watch dogs!"
 

Well, firing Utah didn't seem to help, it's been two days again since anyone posted here. Who's up next on the chopping block? 90? Yeah, that sounds good. Well, no, I can't fire him, at least he was the last to post here. Hmmm...South? Mingez? Currupt?
 
Give me your opinion on this:

Today, while cruising East Wichita, I saw a Libby with the "military" paint job, you know, OD Green with the white star on the hood and sides. Personally, I don't think it worked. Nope. Didn't like it at all. I just don't feel like the Libby has earned the right to wear that style of paint job. Now, a SWB, sure. Maybe even an XJ, but not a Libby.

What think ye, Jeepz dudes and dudettes?
 
What's with these teams from warm weather cities beating Canadian teams in hockey?

Florida, Carolina, and now California?!?!?!

It just doesn't seem right, but it's nice to see the US kicking butt in hockey.
 

Give me your opinion on this:

Today, while cruising East Wichita, I saw a Libby with the "military" paint job, you know, OD Green with the white star on the hood and sides. Personally, I don't think it worked. Nope. Didn't like it at all. I just don't feel like the Libby has earned the right to wear that style of paint job. Now, a SWB, sure. Maybe even an XJ, but not a Libby.

What think ye, Jeepz dudes and dudettes?

Definantly hasn't earned it.


Man, I just got out of a ditch, I was stuck bad. It was on a local muddin' road, old siloh, that had just had gravel put on it. I was up at Walmart and met a friend, since my jeepster was already dirty he said he would pay to wash it if I brought him down there. We went and discovered it was semi-paved and were bummed out! So, he bet I couldn't go in-n'-out of a ditch that's at about a 65 degree angle with about 6" of water in it. I baha'd in there and tried to get out in 4-hi... wasn't gunna happen. So, I tried 4-lo... still not happening. I tried all the tricks and just couldn't get out. We walked about a mile and a half up to Josephs house and he had to trade in his battery, that was under warranty, for a new one and get some gas. He drives an old Chevy, about '82 I think. It's 2wd with a 327, some nice headers, an exhaust kit, and a huge cam. While getting gas we ran into nick, who works at O'reilly's, he drives a bit of a manlier truck. He idled me out, by that time my jeep was covered in mud. You couldn't even tell what color it was! All turned out alright, and I got my money. I just feel like i was knocked down a knotch getting stuck in the ultimate off-road machine...

To clear things up, it's almost a tradition to go muddin' down Old Siloh, and the road isn't used for anything but. Everyone uses the paved road dubbed "New Siloh." So it might be technically illegal in some law-book somewhere, but all the cops are fine with it so I don't see it as a bad thing to do.

Time in total: I left the house to go to Walmart at about 9:00 pm and I am home writing this at about 11:45. Fun night.
 
Definantly hasn't earned it.


Man, I just got out of a ditch, I was stuck bad. It was on a local muddin' road, old siloh, that had just had gravel put on it. I was up at Walmart and met a friend, since my jeepster was already dirty he said he would pay to wash it if I brought him down there. We went and discovered it was semi-paved and were bummed out! So, he bet I couldn't go in-n'-out of a ditch that's at about a 65 degree angle with about 6" of water in it. I baha'd in there and tried to get out in 4-hi... wasn't gunna happen. So, I tried 4-lo... still not happening. I tried all the tricks and just couldn't get out. We walked about a mile and a half up to Josephs house and he had to trade in his battery, that was under warranty, for a new one and get some gas. He drives an old Chevy, about '82 I think. It's 2wd with a 327, some nice headers, an exhaust kit, and a huge cam. While getting gas we ran into nick, who works at O'reilly's, he drives a bit of a manlier truck. He idled me out, by that time my jeep was covered in mud. You couldn't even tell what color it was! All turned out alright, and I got my money. I just feel like i was knocked down a knotch getting stuck in the ultimate off-road machine...

To clear things up, it's almost a tradition to go muddin' down Old Siloh, and the road isn't used for anything but. Everyone uses the paved road dubbed "New Siloh." So it might be technically illegal in some law-book somewhere, but all the cops are fine with it so I don't see it as a bad thing to do.

Time in total: I left the house to go to Walmart at about 9:00 pm and I am home writing this at about 11:45. Fun night.


The only way to learn your limitations and abilities is to push the envelope. We've got a few roads around here that are the same way, only thing they're used for is wheeling and mudding.
 
I will be here for the next week.
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If you need me, don't call me, I'll call you. :D
 

3.32" of rain overnight, on top of 1.58" the night before....it's just a little soggy in Sparkyville right now! :shock:
 
3.32" of rain overnight, on top of 1.58" the night before....it's just a little soggy in Sparkyville right now! :shock:

Sparky,
how far ahead are you all right now on annual rainfall to date?
We are about 5" ahead of what we would normally have gotten to this point in the year.
 

Sparky,
how far ahead are you all right now on annual rainfall to date?
We are about 5" ahead of what we would normally have gotten to this point in the year.

We're 3.2" over just for the month of May. Reno county, just west of us, has had about 15" more than us, though for the month of May, depending on where you go. Some places there have had less, but just about 15 miles NW of me, they've had 15" more than us. We're only 6.4" over for the year, but most of that has come this month alone. We've had 17.04" this year, not counting the rain last night and yesterday, just up to the end of May. It has rained 39 of the last 45 days. Makes the lawn sprinkler business a bit slow. We still have about half our customers that haven't had us turn their systems on yet because of all the rain! And, if the systems aren't running, they aren't breaking. If they aren't breaking, Sparky ain't working. If Sparky ain't working, he's taking a lot of naps and getting paid for it!! :lol:
 

Call me as backwoods as you may, but Larry the Cable Guy's new special is premiering tonight.
 
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